1. |
Vanishing Cloud Burial
03:04
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we wandered into the sea
with the intent of a lifeguard
but preemptively, i brought a bodybag
for hours we surveyed the scene, but i am still right here all the bad omens we knew of carrying white flags and the sea felt pneumatic while it pressed
and it feels absolving, i am with you now
your body lies where you fell at the foot of the lighthouse exhumed by the water and bleached by the sun your limbs arranged like a pentagram on the ground you were forgotten but now you are found
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2. |
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i said i wasn’t scared
i lied
you should have killed me off back there
at least i know where i stand
|
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3. |
Neglect
03:35
|
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i am a snare before a fawn
i am the body and the dust of a life lost
and i lost myself
and i led myself on
and i lost myself
and i led myself along the way home
i had a window and a throne
i was a kestrel that flies out and across the battlements and i lost myself
and i led myself on
and i lost myself
and i led myself home
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4. |
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let them in
my head down
my lungs so sore
check the wind
every arrow in
my neck and stomach
then skinned alive
the harbinger of death bags me up
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5. |
I Deserve This
05:19
|
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i feel like a shell
i felt a gasp in my chest
the moment you fell
i won’t forget it
it was so poetic how you
leaned back
i won’t absolve you
you were not the right one
and i was so stubborn
but i will break
you and i were like one self
i dissociated
and i’ll wait
to find the right state of mind
it’s a long two days to drive along the prairie roads without a soul to be found
close your eyes
and the moment you die
there’s no one to right the wrong that i’ve done but you don’t buy it
and i don’t deserve you
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6. |
Missile Gap Year
05:25
|
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the whitest light fell from the sky
survival instincts flared as we looked for reasons why every breath feels as sharp as a knife
i am alive
why am i alive
every stomach swells like a balloon
the wind is a noxious monsoon
tell me I’m alright
as the fumes pour in
tell me i’m a liar
let the right one in
i am alive
why am i alive
i am pulling on their forearms
like i am pulling on the sleeves of a winter coat are you watching
you waive your life off
you like how it feels being alone
you are like a night owl
i never see you when it’s light out you waive your life off
you like how the water comes in you like your lights off
you can’t believe them
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7. |
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dare me to do it
and i’ll do it
recent access memory erased i just bought myself some time
|
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8. |
Cat Wand Mastery
03:42
|
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i can’t kill the night sun
in spite of how i’ve tried
are you sore from all the blisters that’s how it starts
i can fire the door-gun
so long as you feed the belt
are you lost in the heat of this moment that’s how i felt
i feel like a fraud
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9. |
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i don’t like letting you down
i will try to find my own way
across the end line
i will try to find the infected wound
that makes the choice mine
will you pull, and will you feel inclined
i wouldn’t judge you if you tried
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10. |
Anticipatory Grief
04:20
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you are the light that binds
you are the light in the cellar
i am right where i belong
i can’t afford that life
i’m in a nondescript room
i am right where i belong
you are just passing through
you are the last one who knew
i am right where i belong
come a bit closer, before i go outside
come a bit closer, you’ll be right on time
i will fail the weighing of sand
if i lose my cognition i will let you decide
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